22/07/2010

oh, hello.

so i'm just gonna put it out there, because i know you're thinking it anyhow.

i recognize that it's been a ridiculously long time. oh, hello again.

big changes here. so many big ones i don't even know where to begin. i'll just have to get to them as i get to them. that seems to be my motto lately ... one step at a time. baby steps, even.

some things i didn't realize before i began this whole whacked-out process..
  • that i really had no clue what i was in for
  • that's sometimes the challenge about making big sweeping changes to everything
  • that life without cable is an entirely different animal when you're living by yourself
  • that being said, i really love coming home from work and making a big ole plate of sweet potato fries with a side of chipotle aioli and watching glee. i'll have sour jujubes for dessert too.
  • while taking (completely unintentional) time away from the blogworld to work on getting myself grounded again has been pretty ok, i miss it.
  • at times, blogging helped me keep mindful
  • at others, i felt so, so terribly inauthentic.
  • i'm not going to be inauthentic anymore
  • that's not to say this is going to become a tell-all blog, so y'all can breathe easy
  • i'm re-reading my post from the beginning of the year and i feel like a totally different person
  • no, seriously, i do. that's a good thing.
  • particularly that whole 'what we give our attention to is what we become' shebang. how wise is that gwen bell?!
  • sometimes i get so wrapped up in the anxiety of the moment that i forget to be mindful. and why i'm doing and sometimes i panic and forget to breathe
  • and sometimes i just need to remind myself, this will all be ok someday
  • i said today that i wish it was three months from now.
  • i take that back
  • i'm glad i have today. today is where i learn. today is who i am. today is what i make of it.
  • and that's when i put one foot in front of the other, and take another baby step forward.

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