03/02/2009

reflect, the day after

it's so very difficult to process when someone close to you dies. i've been sitting and trying to figure out what to type for today's post without any success. it feels like words aren't enough to express the incredible individual that my cousin was.

i went up north to visit my dad for his 60th birthday this weekend - then we got word that rex passed away. we came back to the city to be with the rest of my family, and sat and watched old movies on the reel-to-reel of when he was a kid , running around in the sunshine on family vacations.

his funeral yesterday was standing room only - and limited at that; people came from many different areas of his world. he had touched so many in his short life, which he'd doubled in length since his original diagnosis for his type of muscular dystrophy, just shy of his 41st birthday.

the resounding theme that was on everyone's lips was that he was an inspiration to all; from living independently and falling in love, to being a journalist and running a succesful online business while his body failed him. instead of focusing on the abilities that he was losing over the course of time, he focused on those that he still possessed, and was was sure to be grateful every day that he still had them. he didn't complain that he'd been given a raw deal - not once.

graceful living embodied. well done, rex. should we all follow your example.


above photo: rex and his partner in business and life, diana

6 comments:

Rachel said...

Oh, hon. I'm so sorry. Losing an amazing person is the hardest thing to come to terms with. I'm glad you all got to be together to celebrate him.

Julia said...

This was such a beautiful entry, Courtney! I'm so sorry for you and your family's loss. What a wonderful life he lived. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Art Kitten said...

I am so sorry for your loss. What an inspirational life he lead.

Taylor said...

this is a very inspirational story...he is an example for us all. i'm so very sorry for your loss. may peace be with you and yours during this difficult time.

Take Care, Courtney.

Sending virtual hugs your way,

Taylor

Caty said...

To the writer:
Hey, I’m just writing you because I read your “reflect, the day after” article, the one you talk about the death of your cousin.
I just want to tell you that I know how it feels to lose someone you care about and love. You know, my grandma passed away 1 and a half year ago… and I still miss her, she was the best one and I used to do so many things with her like cook, paint, have some talks, go to the super and so many things that if I tell you I would never end. So it’s normal to feel without breath sometimes but there’s a limit for everything; thus, just take the time you need to get realize about the reality and say good bye to your cousin Rex, but do not remain suspended in his death.
Likewise the muscular dystrophy that your cousin suffered made me think about the lucky girl that I am of having all the health and abilities such as walk, talk, move by me, among others. It should be great to have Rex as a example of effort and also as a life warrior. One characteristic you said that he focused in the abilities he had instead of the ones he was losing, also helped me to get realized of how I am living my life; sometimes we used to only see the negative side of everything without thinking about the people that is suffering so much more, and the worst and sad thing is that we adopted a selfish position and create a bubble which obstructed us to see the world reality.
Sometimes I think that change for good Its so hard, but when I see what could did your cousin I just can’t keep this idea, if he came to the top of the tallest mountain I should follow his example and give all of my effort to reach it.
So, I want to thank you of give me this life lesson by means of your blog and you’re writing of Rex.
Best wishes and hoping you be ok,
Marcela Manzo

Caty said...

To the writer:
Hi, I read your reflect, the day after article that is in your blog.
I Know what you feel when someone close to you dies. Well I think that in some way you were prepared for this because he was sick, but also is too sad and difficult to care about someone with muscular dystrophy.
I so interesting that someone with this diagnosis and be grateful to be with life and still possessed some abilities, because are person that can move and don’t take this opportunity to make grate things and instead are doing nothing. Also is so happy that someone like that has a lot of friends, and that people accept the new life of him.
Like he is your example, also is an example to me and invited me to do new things and to be happy with what a have and start helping people that has some problem.
I hope you are happy to have a person like him and also I hope that never forget him and be happy with what you did for him. I know that I so difficult to remember those days that spend together and today he isn’t with you physically but believe me that you are in his heart and with you in any moment.
I wan to tell me how you feel with this situation, and also I wan to know more about this type of muscular dystrophy and how a family can help those person and deal with this disease.
I will wait your answer.

Thanks for opening your heart.
Daniela PĂ©rez

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